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my karma

oh, you are my karma
the epiphany of doubt
you came dressed in my apologies
and carrying a sword
you are the vengeance of my weakness
who will not parlay or retreat
you swing your soft indifference
at my soul and i fall, hard

oh, you are my karma,
the dissolution of my peace
with a soul that shines like mirrors
and the fingers of a thief
and when i finally remembered
what had sent me into hiding
i swallowed words like aspirin
and washed them down with grief

oh, you are my karma,
you are a thing i can’t unsee
the undoing of my stitches
and the bleeding of my scar
you are each tiny evil secret
and the tinier grey lies
and every drink and every boy
and every seedy bar

oh, you are my karma
it is a brittle, brutal blow
that what started out in wonder
has me trying to forget
but this lesson won’t go quietly
won’t lie down and hold its tongue
i would strangle it with poetry
and drown it in regret

oh, you are my karma
and the laughter of the norns
the surrendering to emptiness
and all we’ll never know
you, you are my karma
nothing more, and nothing less
you are the end of this black coda
you are the gates of horn and ivory
you are the end and the beginning
and the reason i must go

l.t. dougherty 2015

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